Night Before Christmas Gearhead Style
Twas the night before Christmas, in the garage of every Gearhead
Ducatis glowed brightly, desmodromic valves in their heads
The muscle car collections were polished and gleamed
Vintage Ferraris dreamt of v12 shrieks and screams
Their owners were ensconced safely in the warmth of inside
Dreaming of future drives, races and rides
Mama in her Laguna Seca hoodie and me in my Dunlop racing cap
Had settled in front of the tv to watch a TopGear season recap
When out in the driveway we heard such a noise
I jumped from the sofa expecting to see the Hep Cat boys
Away to the front door I streaked like Ol’ Blue
Flung it wide open not sure what would ensue
The moon and the stars shone down from on high
Illuminating all which below them did lie
And what I saw I could not quite understand
‘Twas a large man in a sleigh, reindeer reins in his hand
The driver himself was in obvious distress
When he saw me he cried out “can you believe what a mess?”
“The breechings are broken, the belly-band’s busted”
“The runners I’m afraid are just too badly rusted
Children all over will have their hearts broken
The words are so sad, I never thought they’d be spoken
But if I can’t find a way to fix this darn sleigh
There will be no presents on this Christmas day
Think of the hearts of little girls and boys
Just think how sad they’ll be without presents and toys
Oh what will I do, how could it come to this?
They’ll never trust me again, I’ve been so remiss”
It’s said that necessity is the mother of invention
But in this moment I stood not on convention
Reindeer pull Santa’s sleigh six hundred miles per hour
But Christmas this year will be delivered by horsepower
To my cell phone I ran with an idea so ingenious
I called every car club and told them just where to meet us
Within minutes exhaust notes echoed through the hills
Thousands of cylinders eliciting thrills
Alfas, and Mustangs, Hemi ‘Cudas and Bugattis
Ferraris and Cobras, Indians, Harleys, Ducatis
Elvas, and Z-Cars, Porsches, Healeys too
Saw the sleigh in my driveway, they knew just what to do
Each pilot pulled driving gloves on to their hands
Each engine rev’d eagerly for the task now at hand
They knew not to tarry they dared not to stumble
For the fate of this Christmas lie on V8 rumble
The 25th of December is a very special day
Not for presents or ribbons, or Santa’s swift sleigh
The reasons we celebrate do not need to be told
Are for lessons we know to be true, young and old
It’s not about getting cash presents and prizes
That’s not what the meaning of Christmas comprises
It’s not how much you spend on presents under the tree
The real joy in this season is so easy to see
When we all join together to help one another
As brother and sister, as father and mother
There is only one thing we are certainly sure of
What binds us together is quite simply love
Old Santa himself was all laughter and smiles
And I let him drive my Lotus the last five hundred miles
“I sure miss Rudolph and Blitzen and Dancer
But I bet the Milky Way’s a blast in that Mitsubishi Lancer”
The children of the world never stirred from their beds
Despite the roaring of engines so close to their beds
They never saw the tracks in snow left by the tire treads
Or know that Christmas that year was saved by Gearheads
Merry Christmas and Stay on the throttle!
Night Before Christmas
T’was the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tie downs with care,
In hopes that — come morning — they all would be there.
The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.
When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airport below.
He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I’d have sworn that the call sign he used was “St. Nick.”
I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,
The better to welcome this magical flight.
He called his position, no room for denial,
“St. Nicholas One, turnin’ left onto final.”
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Rutan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!
With vectors to final, down the glideslope he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:
“Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!
On Comet! On Cupid!” What pills was he takin’?
While controllers were sittin’, and scratchin’ their heads,
They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread,
The message they left was both urgent and dour:
“When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower.”
He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,
Then I heard, “Left at Charlie,” and “Taxi to parking.”
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh,
And stopped on the ramp with a “Ho, ho-ho-ho…”
He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.
His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost,
And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.
His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,
And he puffed on a pipe, but he didn’t inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,
His boots were as black as a cropduster’s belly.
He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
And he asked me to “fill it, with hundred low-lead.”
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,
I knew he was anxious for drainin’ the sump.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.
He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,
Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.
And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
These reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.
He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,
Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, “Clear!”
And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,
He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.
“Take taxiway Charlie, the southbound direction,
Turn right three-two-zero at pilot’s discretion”
He sped down the runway, the bestof the best,
“Your traffic’s a Grumman, inbound from the west.”
Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed through the night,
“Merry Christmas to all! I have traffic in sight.”
“Never run out of airspeed, altitude and ideas at the same time”
Lost Log Books
Here is an informative article on lost log books and how they affect aircraft values. Click here for article.
Miata vs MINI Roadster Cooper S
Click here for story on AutoGuide.com
F-18 Crash Caught On Video
Click here for video and story on AVweb
Wooden Car
What happens when a wood boat builder decides to build a car – click here to find out.
Kettenkrad article from The Kneeslider
Here is a short article on the Kettenkrad from The Kneeslider
Tags: motorcycle, kettenkrad
406 ELT Info
Here is some general information on the new 406 ELT from a FAA website. Click here for the document.
406 ELT Requirements
February 1 2013 the Bahamas will require all aircraft to have the new 406 ELT installed and Mexico will follow in June 2013. You will not be allowed to fly in those countries unless you have the new type ELT installed.
Human Powered Helicopter
Engineering students of all levels, Freshman through PhD, at the University of Maryland’s Clark School of Engineering and Alfred Gessow Rotorcraft Center are working on a human powered helicopter. Click here for full story.
