Know Your Pilots

Know Your Pilots

The AIRLINE TRANSPORT PILOT leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a 747, is faster than a speeding bullet, walls on water and gives policy to God.

The MULTI-ENGINE PILOT leaps short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a 707, and is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if it is calm and talks to God.

The INSTRUMENT PILOT leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable wind conditions. He is almost as powerful as a Learjet, faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water of an indoor pool and talks to God if special requests are approved.

The COMMERCIAL PILOT barely clears a Quonset hut, loses tug-of-war with Twin Engine aircraft, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well and is occasionally addressed by God.

The PRIVATE PILOT makes high ranks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by Piper Arrows and sometimes handles an airplane without inflicting self-injury, can dog-paddle and talks to animals.

The NON-SOLOED STUDENT PILOT falls over the door sill when trying to enter buildings, says “look at the airplane,” wets himself with a water pistol and mumbles to himself.


The CERTIFIED FLIGHT INSTRUCTOR lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks airplanes out of the hangar, catches speeding bullets with his teeth and chews them, and freezes water with a single glance. The CFI IS GOD.

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