Night Before Christmas Gearhead Style
Twas the night before Christmas, in the garage of every Gearhead
Ducatis glowed brightly, desmodromic valves in their heads
The muscle car collections were polished and gleamed
Vintage Ferraris dreamt of v12 shrieks and screams
Their owners were ensconced safely in the warmth of inside
Dreaming of future drives, races and rides
Mama in her Laguna Seca hoodie and me in my Dunlop racing cap
Had settled in front of the tv to watch a TopGear season recap
When out in the driveway we heard such a noise
I jumped from the sofa expecting to see the Hep Cat boys
Away to the front door I streaked like Ol’ Blue
Flung it wide open not sure what would ensue
The moon and the stars shone down from on high
Illuminating all which below them did lie
And what I saw I could not quite understand
‘Twas a large man in a sleigh, reindeer reins in his hand
The driver himself was in obvious distress
When he saw me he cried out “can you believe what a mess?”
“The breechings are broken, the belly-band’s busted”
“The runners I’m afraid are just too badly rusted
Children all over will have their hearts broken
The words are so sad, I never thought they’d be spoken
But if I can’t find a way to fix this darn sleigh
There will be no presents on this Christmas day
Think of the hearts of little girls and boys
Just think how sad they’ll be without presents and toys
Oh what will I do, how could it come to this?
They’ll never trust me again, I’ve been so remiss”
It’s said that necessity is the mother of invention
But in this moment I stood not on convention
Reindeer pull Santa’s sleigh six hundred miles per hour
But Christmas this year will be delivered by horsepower
To my cell phone I ran with an idea so ingenious
I called every car club and told them just where to meet us
Within minutes exhaust notes echoed through the hills
Thousands of cylinders eliciting thrills
Alfas, and Mustangs, Hemi ‘Cudas and Bugattis
Ferraris and Cobras, Indians, Harleys, Ducatis
Elvas, and Z-Cars, Porsches, Healeys too
Saw the sleigh in my driveway, they knew just what to do
Each pilot pulled driving gloves on to their hands
Each engine rev’d eagerly for the task now at hand
They knew not to tarry they dared not to stumble
For the fate of this Christmas lie on V8 rumble
The 25th of December is a very special day
Not for presents or ribbons, or Santa’s swift sleigh
The reasons we celebrate do not need to be told
Are for lessons we know to be true, young and old
It’s not about getting cash presents and prizes
That’s not what the meaning of Christmas comprises
It’s not how much you spend on presents under the tree
The real joy in this season is so easy to see
When we all join together to help one another
As brother and sister, as father and mother
There is only one thing we are certainly sure of
What binds us together is quite simply love
Old Santa himself was all laughter and smiles
And I let him drive my Lotus the last five hundred miles
“I sure miss Rudolph and Blitzen and Dancer
But I bet the Milky Way’s a blast in that Mitsubishi Lancer”
The children of the world never stirred from their beds
Despite the roaring of engines so close to their beds
They never saw the tracks in snow left by the tire treads
Or know that Christmas that year was saved by Gearheads
Merry Christmas and Stay on the throttle!