Night Before Christmas Gearhead Style

Twas the night before Christmas, in the garage of every Gearhead

Ducatis glowed brightly, desmodromic valves in their heads

The muscle car collections were polished and gleamed

Vintage Ferraris dreamt of v12 shrieks and screams

 

Their owners were ensconced safely in the warmth of inside

Dreaming of future drives, races and rides

Mama in her Laguna Seca hoodie and me in my Dunlop racing cap

Had settled in front of the tv to watch a TopGear season recap

 

When out in the driveway we heard such a noise

I jumped from the sofa expecting to see the Hep Cat boys

Away to the front door I streaked like Ol’ Blue

Flung it wide open not sure what would ensue

 

The moon and the stars shone down from on high

Illuminating all which below them did lie

And what I saw I could not quite understand

‘Twas a large man in a sleigh, reindeer reins in his hand

 

The driver himself was in obvious distress

When he saw me he cried out “can you believe what a mess?”

“The breechings are broken, the belly-band’s busted”

“The runners I’m afraid are just too badly rusted

 

Children all over will have their hearts broken

The words are so sad, I never thought they’d be spoken

But if I can’t find a way to fix this darn sleigh

There will be no presents on this Christmas day

 

Think of the hearts of little girls and boys

Just think how sad they’ll be without presents and toys

Oh what will I do, how could it come to this?

They’ll never trust me again, I’ve been so remiss”

 

It’s said that necessity is the mother of invention

But in this moment I stood not on convention

Reindeer pull Santa’s sleigh six hundred miles per hour

But Christmas this year will be delivered by horsepower

 

To my cell phone I ran with an idea so ingenious

I called every car club and told them just where to meet us

Within minutes exhaust notes echoed through the hills

Thousands of cylinders eliciting thrills

 

Alfas, and Mustangs, Hemi ‘Cudas and Bugattis

Ferraris and Cobras, Indians, Harleys, Ducatis

Elvas, and Z-Cars, Porsches, Healeys too

Saw the sleigh in my driveway, they knew just what to do

 

Each pilot pulled driving gloves on to their hands

Each engine rev’d eagerly for the task now at hand

They knew not to tarry they dared not to stumble

For the fate of this Christmas lie on V8 rumble

 

The 25th of December is a very special day

Not for presents or ribbons, or Santa’s swift sleigh

The reasons we celebrate do not need to be told

Are for lessons we know to be true, young and old

 

It’s not about getting cash presents and prizes

That’s not what the meaning of Christmas comprises

It’s not how much you spend on presents under the tree

The real joy in this season is so easy to see

 

When we all join together to help one another

As brother and sister, as father and mother

There is only one thing we are certainly sure of

What binds us together is quite simply love

 

Old Santa himself was all laughter and smiles

And I let him drive my Lotus the last five hundred miles

“I sure miss Rudolph and Blitzen and Dancer

But I bet the Milky Way’s a blast in that Mitsubishi Lancer”

 

The children of the world never stirred from their beds

Despite the roaring of engines so close to their beds

They never saw the tracks in snow left by the tire treads

Or know that Christmas that year was saved by Gearheads

Merry Christmas and Stay on the throttle!

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